With eyes closed

Hi!
I realize today that it's been a week since I last wrote. Well, that week has not been so great... and you know, I think it has to do with the weather. Since Thursday it's been cloudy and raining again, and everything seems slower, more difficult... maybe I'm just tired. The thing is, I still want to finish this thing, but it's now only two and a half weeks and the voices in my mind say it's not humanly possible to have it ready. They keep making lists of all that I still have to do and won't have time for, and that doesn't let me concentrate properly.
So see here you voices: I am not listening to you anymore. Say what you want. All those things still left to do I can put in afterwards, in June. Right now it's only about writing, only quotes from Schelling and maybe Buchheim, but really only "Schelling and I". After I hand it in in Pamplona we can see about all the other details, quotes, explanations, etc. Ok? Did I make myself clear?

Yes, my friends, maybe I am becoming a little crazy, but hopefull I can get back to normal after a while...
Now to write with eyes (and ears) closed...

staying alive

Hi! Just signing in to tell you that I live, and am trying very desperately to finish and close the third Chapter. It's stealing time from the others!! but it's almost done and came out pretty well, I think. But I'm really worried about the ones missing. Please send your support... Little more than three weeks now! until the deadline for Pamplona...

much better now

Do you guys know what that man in Pi did not do? He did not go to the gym, at least not as far as we viewers could tell. So that was his mistake! ha ha
Seriously, today I was still very "überdreht", "pasada de rosca", English? And it was not a nice feeling and especially it was not helping me write, so I went to the gym and it was great. Now I'm very relaxed so I feel I can begin again, motivated but relatively calm at the same time. So I guess it's like a pot of boiling soup: take it away from the stove just before it spills over, and then put it on the stove again. And again. At least that's the way I do it.
Well, just wanted to let you know.
Bye!

too much brain activity?

Hi my friends! Things are going good. I am really nervous now and willing to do my best, everything else can wait or go to hell! And the past two days have been really good, I've written some pages and have been working really intensively. It's like my brain is doped! and I read everything fast, am very concentrated, think clearly... but almost too much... I'm kind of hysterical, actually, can only thinkg about the problem I'm writing about, etc. That is all fine, since it's just one month now. However, I have had a headache all day today. It feels like it's really coming from too much brain activity... every bit of info is dancing around in my head and connecting with the other bits in many different patterns... So I think I should try to relax a little bit, because there is a point where I'm too hysterical to be writing the arguments step by step and would like to just do everything simultaneously. That and the headache...
Do you remember the movie Pi? I'm not a mathematical genius trying to think the name of God, but it feels remotely like that...

The Battle of Puebla

How must Ignacio Zaragoza have felt? Well I have no idea at the moment of the circumstances before the battle or whether he was very sure of himself or what the deal was, but there he was against one of the most powerful nations of the time... Was it a miracle that we won?
Anyway. I said that the deadline for the contest was in two months, but actually it's only one... In exactly one month I have to send to Spain at least a decoy of a dissertation. That means it must at least look like it's finished!
I am very motivated and plan to give my very best (and last) effort, but it is quite scary. Like the whole French army coming in my direction...
Oh well, here goes nothing:
"Montjoie! Saint-Denis!!"... (sorry, that was the other side... he he.. what would have been our battlecry?)

What an amazing coincidence!!!

Hi everyone!
Ok, I really did get more clarity on thetopics of "subject" and "matter" (on the "subject matter" of the chapter). I had a good conversation with an Aristotelianfriend, like Eduardo suggested, and that helped me straighten out my ideas. So there are no more excuses. I plan to have it really finished on Thursday. So I will be posting then to tell you the good news.
The other thing that is really exciting, I can't believe my luck!
I was looking at the newspaper, which I don't do very often lately, and I saw an ad for a contest. They are looking for contestants that are willing to try and write something about a certain strange topic. You get two months and the topic, and from those who finish, the one with the best paper wins a great prize.
Guess what the topic is??!! Schelling and Aristotle! How amazing is that! So I practically have all the advantage over the other people, because I have already done so much research on the subject, and thought about it for so long.
Wow!
And guess what the prize is? Whoever wins gets a trip to Mexico, a trip to Spain and! the chance to teach philosophy together with Prof. Thomas Buchheim in Munich...
Isn't this incredible coincidence?
So I just called and registered myself. The finish line is two months from tomorrow...
On your marks, set... go!!
Please root for me, ok?
;-)

A bit more clarity

Hi! Thanks for your suggestions and cheering for me!!
I have more clarity on the subject of matter and of the "subject" now, at least enough to keep writing. I was afraid there for a moment that I had gotten it all wrong since the beginning and hadn't understood Schelling at all! But now I think I solved it, for the time being.
Today I found some interesting articles that I had already read a long time ago. Luckily I had also marked and classified them, so I was able to find interesting bits of information without re-reading them... In one of them, actually not an article but a letter from Schelling to his son, I found a clue that I had been understanding the problem correctly after all.
So that was good. Also I know now exactly which articles I still had there in my old archives, and which I still need to look for, only three or four.
Ok, no more batteries. Good night!

Matter

Hi!
This chapter has gotten fat. One important concept of Aristotle that Schelling uses is that of "matter" and now I have realized I have to explain it here, write now. As long as I'm already in this part of the dissertation.
It really belongs here because of the context. But it's very complicated, I need to look at bibliography to do it, and I don't know if I should just leave it for later. Pro: I don't get stuck in this one chapter. Con: if I leave it for later I will have forgotten a lot of what I have in mind at the moment, plus I don't know if I will have time later at all.
My cold is not magically going away...

Still sick

Hi my friends. Just saying hi.
I'm still out with a cold. It's really too bad, because I haven't felt well enough to keep up the rhythm, and am afraid of falling off the horse again. No! that can't happen now.
So I was lucky to get a doctor's appointment later today. Only I will probably just get some herbs, the way they like it in this noble country... haha.
Still, I don't want to stop writing because it is so hard to come back once you stop.
Also I might go talk to my "doctoral father", as he is called here, about the deadlines and some questions I have regarding the organization of my chapters. He seems to have very little time nowadays, but I think it's better to ask and get some feedback from him.
I hope you are all doing great!
Thanks for the music suggestions...

Da-da-da dáá da

The Walkyries in honor of Schelling and Edu...
only sung with a sduffed dose because I have a cold... regreddably...
I am sdill drying do finish thad Chapder 3!
Ready?

Da-da-da dáá da
Da-da-da dáá da
Da-da-da dááá

Da-dáa da-da-da-da-dáá da-da-da-dá dá-dá da-da-dáá

Cold remedies suggesdions also welcome (gallegos)

This week's winner

At the moment the best musical piece to write is:
Piano ConcertoNo. 4 in C minor, Op. 44, 2. Allegro Vivace-Andante-Allegro
from Camille Saint-Saens

Keep sending your proposals...
;-)

Prost

Hi. I just wanted to say hello. The best time of the day is starting, when everything is quiet here and I can drink my tea without looking out for any spies, ha ha. It is when I can concentrate most, so I drink to your health and write on (right on!) On Sunday this chapter must be ready, and I MUST move on to chapter IV.

Suggestions

Hi, I'm writing already. That is good. It's hard. Do you guys have any suggestions for music that:
a) has no words
b) is relatively fast and kind of "uplifting"?
That would be very great.
So far I have some fast Schubert and a couple of jazz songs, some pieces by Vivaldi and probably the best: Chopin's Polonaise in A Flat "Heroic"... just to give you an idea of what I mean.
Maybe I should look for marches and military music, haha...
Bye!!
PS. Of course, I meant "music for writing": it helps keep a certain pace and marching on...

My cell

Here they are at last, some photos of my cell so you can picture it. It's quite all-write, but I don't have that much time left in it!
On the left you see my files, the post-it system of visualizing the structure and the plastic paper that sticks to the wall, a great invention! So that is why I'll miss having walls available in the library. Sorry about the mess. On the right you see what is behind me as I write, a shelf with books and a window so they can check if I'm not drinking tea, which I am, of course. Ha ha ha! Fooled them...
And this is the view, the best part of the cell because I can even open the window!! and get some very fresh air in here. Also there is a lot of light because it's facing south. And you can see that spring is here.
Well, I shouldn't complain, right? write?

A little too early

Hi!
I promised I would see you today at eight. Well, I'm a bit early, as you can see, because here it's 7.33... pm! No, I actually meant am yesterday. But I was kind of sick, and I ended up coming to my "cell" here very late. Still, I have some hours of work ahead of me until midnight, so that is just what we have "write now".
Bye!

Right

Today I had the problem that "write" also sounds like "R I G H T . . . "
I was feeling very relaxed, which is good after the weekend where I got stressed out, but too relaxed, as in losing-touch-with-the-reality-and-speed-of-time-relaxed. But oh well, here I am sitting in my little cell. I just sent the second Chapter to Prof. Llano so he can "get a head start" reading the dissertation while I finish writing it, ha.
Oops. I am realizing that I haven't written much today. That makes me sad, because I had great hopes for the day.
On the subject of hope I wanted to share with you a prayer that I heard and which is now taped on the wall in front of me. I find it a very good way to start the day with hope:

"Thank you for what will happen today that will make me grow".

And then, when you say it a couple of times, you get all excited about the good things about to happen which you don't imagine yet. Great, no?
See you tomorrow at 9. I promise.

Write away!

While looking for a translation for the German expression "schreib los!" I came upon this idea: "write away!" and found it pretty good as my new motto because of the word play it has.
Ha ha!
So I will write away right away...
Thank you Ana and Enrique ;-)

Tricks?

Hi everyone. I haven't posted because those descriptions of the winter courses ended up taking two whole days. At last I have finished all those arrangements and am trying to just write, write, write. I realize now that a lot of the time spent on this Chapter has been on questions that are not so crucial to the dissertation! They interest me a lot but if they are not part of the paper it's still ok. So now I have to really just do the things that I definitely have to include. I have to be minimalistic.
The other thing is that I'm kind of afraid of writing... which is why I always try to re-read, make schemes, re-make schemes, write notes, etc Because I sincerely and truly feel that I need those before I can write. But I have to be able to write without so much preliminaries or I won't finish. Does anyone know any tricks to overcome that kind of fear?
I wish you all a very nice weekend. And congratulations Martha and Luis!!!

Hope

I am feeling more hopeful and although I still don't work like the little machine I would like to be at this time, I feel better. It might actually and amazingly be possible to finish on time! The new official deadline is June 30th. Which means I would have to be finished writing at the beginning of June in order to make the most necessary corrections.
I have been re-digesting my latest outline of the Chapter and reading the parts that I had already written. No more re-reading Schelling, sorry old man, until I have written what I know right now, and fast! before I forget it once again! So I'm going to just write the parts that are missing and use what I have.
That will have to go on on Friday though, because tomorrow I have to do a day's work on those winter seminars. But tonight I still have about an hour and a half, so good bye.
And thank you for reading this! You give me hope!

Help!

Hi! I'm not falling off the horse but I'm seeing that those steps take longer than I thought. I am still not finished with re-reading and am starting to question that idea. I realize that I tend to want to read too much and have every little argument in mind before I dare to write anything. But then I read so much that by the time I have to write I already forgot it! Or I have made a plan that is too intricate. So maybe I should just write what I know now and complete it afterwards with some quotes, instead of trying to note everything again and then write...
What do you think? I hate to change the plan but I have to be flexible and look at the calendar!